There are two common themes I find homeowners complain about: noise and wood burning stoves.
One email writer reports that he lives in an apartment building, with a family upstairs that is impossibly noisy. The family members scream at each other day and night. The kids blast their music. It's an apparent ongoing nightmare. So how does he stop the noise?
It does need to be stopped, because studies show that relentless noise can drive people crazy, literally, making them ill and psychologically debilitated.
If possible, the reader should speak with the neighbor. Without putting him on the defensive, the problem should be explained and relief should be requested. The neighbor may not realize how well the sound is traveling.
The key with noncombative confrontation is to remain calm. Do not accuse. Simply state the facts and make a genuine request.
But this can still be very frightening -- especially in today's world, where people are known to act irrationally and sometimes (rarely) violently. Thus, people should only engage in such discussions if they believe the neighbor is likely to be reasonable. And these discussions should take place at convenient times of the day (meaning not in the middle of the night).
If there is any question at all, then polite discourse may not be appropriate.
Next, the building super or management company may also be able to help. In some states, they may have a legal responsibility to ensure that you are using your apartment without undue interference from others. Lawyers refer to this as the right to peaceful occupancy.
Many municipalities have noise ordinances which may be helpful. The degree to which the local officials will help will depend on the language in the ordinance, the historic manner in which the ordinance has been locally applied, and the willingness of local officials to help in these kinds of cases. It may also depend on who the noise maker is.
Simply moving may also be an appropriate option. While people hate to be "chased" from their homes, sometimes this response just makes sense. If this is the case, you may need to hire an attorney.
Also at the top of the list of annoyances: wood burning stoves. A reader writes in that they live immediately next to a home with a wood burning stove. The smoke bothers the reader, but the neighbor with the stove won't stop the burning.
Stove complaints are tricky. Since many stoves meet local legal requirements, the local authorities are often reluctant to become involved. This does not mean that the authorities should not be consulted, but know in advance that they may be unwilling or unable to help.
Again, speaking with the neighbor may be a good first step. That depends on you, the neighbor, and your common sense.
Consider offering a financial compromise, as the neighbor may be using a wood burning stove as a way to conserve cash.
Or if their house is older, maybe you can pay for the neighbor to change over to natural gas, or offer to help pay some of his or her gas bills for a specified period. This all depends on how much getting rid of your wood burning headache is worth to you.
Since civil disputes are often settled with an exchange of money, there is nothing inherently wrong about this approach. While readers often don't like to have to use money to "clear the air," if the victim's legal position is weak, this approach may make sense.
In most cases of neighborly discontent, legal relief in the courts may is available. A lawsuit claiming public and private nuisance, as well as other appropriate claims, may be viable. In most cases, make sure that friends and neighbors witness the problem so that they can be called as witnesses. And all attempts to resolve the problem should be reduced to writing and copies should be saved.
But remember that lawsuits are costly and litigation should always be a last resort.
Good Luck!